When a Season begins or ends

Aloha! It is an honour to still be able to connect with you again. What are your relationships looking like? For a very long time I heard and even used the adage ‘no man is an island’ but I never really appreciated what it meant until very recently.

At some point, in the last couple of years, I had different people in my life and it felt like my life was complete and nothing could ever go wrong. But within a short space of time, events unfolded and it felt like I was stripped of all my power relationships.

I didn’t understand what it was that had gone wrong and I began to think that maybe something was wrong with me. I wallowed in this state of mind for a while, and when nothing changed I realized that I had to move on and allow God do what it was He had in mind to do.

I survived and resolved that I was never going to allow anyone so close to hurt me again. Even though this proposed line of thought made sense, it was faulty nonetheless. I began to see how that I had no control over the kinds of people who God will allow into my life, and when He will decide to send them somewhere else or to someone else.

My mindset was affected despite the survival and try as I did, it was never easy to open myself to new relationships without thinking that at some point, something might go wrong and I will be back to square one. But something amazing happened; recently, God started to send a new crop of people into my life all over again, and these set of people are still flesh and blood, but in the short while I have known them, they have made my life beautiful…

So I started to think that maybe, just maybe, no man is an island after all. You might have had an experience such as this and have said to yourself, ‘no one is going to come close enough to hurt me again.’ While protecting yourself is good, what about all the other new people who God has prepared to add value to you and make your life beautiful? As you build your wall, do you realize that it will keep both the good and the bad out?

For some of us, it is even a marriage situation; our spouse has hurt us so badly we decided never to allow them into our heart again, ever! But didn’t this same spouse ever bring you joy? The truth is that relationships are seasonal and with the different seasons come different challenges. When it is a friend situation, it will be healthy to recognize that maybe the season of having the individual in our lives is over. If a marriage situation, it may just be that you have hit a dry spell and once the season passes things will get better.

Whichever it is with you, learning to know when to hold on and when to let go in this dispensation is extremely important. When someone leaves, it is because soon God will fill the space with a more relevant individual, who can impact you or be impacted by you. Those who have to move on, may not even be bad, it may just be that they have new assignments elsewhere.

The thrill of it all, is that it is possible that they are not out of your life forever, they may soon be back, if you will keep an open mind, when they return, it will be easier to pick up from where you left off.

Whatever it is, remember that not all relationships are forever, so while you have them, do your best by them. With every one that ends, God is always able and ready to bring others so that your life doesn’t remain empty. And if you are true to yourself, He will ensure that your life remains beautiful regardless of how others around you will act.

Here is to every relationship I have had, past and present, I love you all and I am grateful God allowed you to be part of my story. Wherever you may go from me, remember that you are loved because in the end we all are in pursuit of something, and if in pursuit then movement is inevitable.

May God grant you victory in Jesus’ name. Love.

—Bidemi
bidemi@effectualmag.com