I stood before the sign and i sighed. Was I now a candidate for this? Yes, unfortunately it had become so. Gone were the days of trim and slim. Things had gone south. I peered down at my mid-section. Yes, again, the tell-tale signs were there. Flab, fat, glob and whatever other unsavoury but true name I might call it. That was my reality. I had gained more weight than was needful. I had tilted the scale and gone the obese way.
That bold red and blue lettering, ‘Fitness Club’ was scary. I imagined all sorts of machines kicking and slapping me, purging me of all the junk I had downloaded, injected and breathed into my body. Trust me when I imagine stuff, it’s scary. On wobbly legs, I let myself in through the creaky gate that added the jarring effect of going into a slaughterhouse. Questions ran through my mind like multiplication tables. What ifs bounced around my mind as well.
‘Welcome to Fit,’ came a deep voice. My eyes roamed the length and breadth of the testosterone-ic alien who stood before me with rippling muscles bulging all over. Machines were swinging everywhere with huffs and puffs and grunts from the men and women who filled the hall. I stood and stared until my eyes connected with the mirror on the wall. My fabulous flabby self was a crying shame in contrast to the trim and taut bodies around me.
However, it was a journey I needed to embark on. A lifelong journey, and I was at the daunting start line where things looked as difficult as climbing a mountain without harness or swimming the Atlantic.
A few days into my new lifestyle, I got to understand what I needed to do to get fit and trim and also to stay healthy. All the chocolates and compulsory desserts had to fly out the window, as well as my couch potato lifestyle. This was a do-over and I couldn’t trifle with thoughts of backing out. I had nodded my head at every instruction until it was time to implement it. That was when things went awry.
I had days of such intense cravings for chocolates and sweet things; I thought I was going mad. I wished I hadn’t such strict restrictions on my diet. Many times I wanted to call it quits. I compared myself with those who were bigger than me and thought I was better off so why not have a bar of chocolate now and then as long as I didn’t overdo it? It was a struggle to keep myself from going over the edge. I really wanted chocolates so badly I was ready to trade anything for it.
Yet that was the beginning of my journey. I still needed to start liking foods that seemed strange to my palate, plus I couldn’t couch potato any longer. I had to move and keep moving. I hated that I signed up. I hated that I was obese. I hated that I needed to keep fit and healthy. Why couldn’t things just be like the days I could eat a whole mountain and not add an ounce to my weight? I longed for those miraculous days when things were normal. This was not normal; longing for what I shouldn’t have. Or was it?
Apparently, all that drama was just the early stages. More was yet to come as the days rolled by, the most important being the need to move. I was lazy. I was averse to any kind of movement. I couldn’t run to save my life. I was more the creative/cerebral person and creative juices wouldn’t flow if I ran helter-skelter ― that was often my excuse for indulging in the couch potato culture. However, I needed my blood to flow unhindered and the stored up fat to dissolve. Importantly, I needed to stay alive and healthy.
What was a girl to do? There was no way out. I plunged in headlong. Straining muscles, flaying limbs and screaming when I couldn’t hold back. My daily chant was, ‘this mountain shall be removed.’ Days and weeks went by and I would stare longingly at the trim people on my team. When would I be like them, I would often ask. It felt like it was taking forever to get an ounce off of me.
Now what did the bible say about waiting? Let’s see:
I wait [patiently]for the Lord, my soul [expectantly]waits, And in His word do I hope.
Psalm 130:5-7 The Amplified Bible.
Will I be willing to wait? Could I live and be motivated while I wait?
Stay tuned