Kemi has been having challenges with her son Ade lately because she couldn’t afford to buy him the latest Play Station (PS4) which he saw at his friend’s home when he went visiting. Ade is a 9 year old boy who is used to having whatever he wants, so when his mum told him that she couldn’t get the PS4 for him, he just wouldn’t take it lightly. He reacted in so many ways from throwing tantrums intermittently to being unnecessarily moody and quiet. Kemi had always wanted to give the best to her son because of her own upbringing; she remembers how her parents struggled to take care of her and her 3 siblings and how she envied those who had better clothes, shoes and school bags than hers. She has been able to keep to her promise until recently when Bayo, her husband lost his job. They both didn’t have much savings because they couldn’t resist the temptation of keeping up appearances among their colleagues and friends; thus, the sudden termination of Bayo’s appointment caught them unprepared.
One thing Kemi couldn’t understand is why Ade will react badly to her inability to buy the latest PS4 when not too long ago, she got him a PS3 to replace the PS2 he had just because he saw the advert in a departmental store. She also had her own personal problems as she couldn’t afford to buy the latest iPhone for herself just because she had to pay bills; the thought of having her colleague flaunt the iPhone 7 before her while she is still using an iPhone 6 is enough misery for her. The whole scenario in her home is tearing her apart and she is clueless as to how to remedy the situation. Kemi really longed for a miracle; maybe a financial gift from a sympathetic friend, a new and better job for her husband or perhaps a raise in her salary will go a long way in solving the present challenge in her home especially her phone and Ade’s PS4. However, the question is this: ‘’is that the solution to their problems?” Certainly not! Getting extra cash is never the solution to the problems of mounting demands but living a life of contentment.
As parents, it is natural that we desire the best for our children and be willing to give them the things we didn’t enjoy growing up but sometimes we go well overboard in our bid to satisfy them. It is true that we should give our children the best but we must be ready to draw a line between their ‘needs’ and ‘wants’. For instance, children ‘need’ clothing to keep warm and cover their nakedness but they may ‘want’ a particular brand simply because they saw the advert somewhere or that it looked nice on a friend. In such a situation, parents shouldn’t allow themselves to be pressurized into meeting such ‘want’ especially where they still have a whole wardrobe that is underutilized. We should encourage them to give to the needy instead of having a ‘museum’ of unused clothes.
Another thing we must introduce to our children early in life is the heart of gratitude. That is, they should learn to be thankful to God and their parents for everything they have and shouldn’t take anything for granted. I was privileged to speak to some children at an orphanage recently and while I told them to be grateful to God for shelter and people who cared for them because there are other children who have neither. I had to tell my son who was with me to appreciate God for the gift of his parents. The truth is that gratitude gives room for contentment while lack of contentment breeds envy and covetousness. We live in a society where people don’t value contentment due to their quest to have more or be seen to have more than the next person and as such they won’t mind going to any length to achieve such goals. How then can such people inculcate a lifestyle of contentment into their wards? Let us always remember that we brought nothing to this world and certainly, we won’t take anything out of it; hence, we should learn to be contented with what we have and teach same to our children.