Let your season dictate your relationships

She was my best friend; I mean I wasn’t a ten year old girl; I wasn’t even twenty, yet I had a best friend. I didn’t know it was possible to see someone who didn’t live in the same house with me every day; I mean sometimes I don’t even get to see those who lived in the same house with me every day. However, somehow, we managed to see well almost on a daily basis.

When we were together, we found stuff to talk about, we dreamt together; we laughed and cried together, and it seemed to me that I had found a co-traveller for life. If you asked me then if I was sure she was my ‘rocking chair buddy’, I would have categorically said yes.
Then one day, I suddenly realised that something was changing. It was no longer exciting to spend an entire day with my best friend. When we did find the time to spend together, I found the stuff that we used to talk about, and I enjoyed no longer were exciting for me. I no longer had the urge to share my first thought with her, which used to be a pattern. In a nutshell, the agitations of my heart were changing, and my best friend was no longer the co-traveller I needed.

It dawned on me that time was running out on our season together. Without warning, stuff we did together and were fun became irritating…What happened I began to ask the Lord, nothing He responded just time for you to grow in another way with another person. Okay, so what should I do to ensure that I didn’t slam this door shut I asked?

Be careful the words you speak, because the only way you will move on is that something will come up that might strain the relationship; when it does show up recognise it for what it is, he said. Recognise that it is the key that the time has come for you to grow in another season with another friend.
As surely as he had alerted me that season did come, it was one of the most difficult things I have had to do; let go of this relationship… but I did let go because I had heard God tell me that my season was about to change. It wasn’t what I would have chosen, but how much of what I need to grow do I know?

We drifted apart, still spoke but essentially we drifted and God did give me a new best friend, as I am sure he did her too. Then the shocker! Even though I knew that my season was changing and that this new best friend was a different person, I wasn’t prepared for what I got! Where my ex-best friend was soothing, this new person was brash, where ex would return a telephone call if she missed one, my new bestie will sometimes not even take calls when you place them

I wasn’t used to people dealing with me like this; I like order and I like to get what I put in a relationship. I ran back to God: Lord! Did I take the wrong friend? “No,” he answered, “you got exactly what you need”. Hmmmm! With time I adjusted, and I began to see that this new best friend wasn’t in my life to laugh and cry with me, she was in my life to pull out some of my hidden potential and somehow, she knew that was her assignment and was following through.

By the time I got her rhythm and we began to do life together, I cannot begin to tell you how much better my life got. She tells me I brought some value too, but that is a story for another day.

With the benefit of hindsight, what I learnt from that experience is what I am about to share here on this page. First I learnt that every relationship is for a season and no matter how long or short the season is, ensuring you learn something along the way is vital.
I also learnt that the seasons of our lives bring with them different levels of growth; the people God will send us will differ according to the growth demands of that season. It is our duty to align with what God is doing in that season.
The third thing I have learnt is that even though the seasons change and the relationships differ, we are still on one very interesting journey, we should be careful to close the door gently; by recognising even when there is a falling out that it is not about any of you, as much as it is about aligning with the season that you are both entering.

Till next time, remember that your relationships sometimes change so you can prepare for the next phase of your life.

—Bidemi