The buffet began promptly as there were enough ladies who had arrived on schedule. Laura and I arrived to the warm welcoming hands of the hostess at whose invitation we had gathered. It took almost forever to convince Laura to loosen up and attend as she had been in recluse for a while. With all the ladies glammed up in designer shoes, designer watches, designer bags and clothes, it was a war of labels. Chatting up was glaringly a matter of what name you wore and the hierarchy of the label in the fashion world. Eyes were rolling from top to bottom on anyone who arrived, and each person tries to hook up with a perfect match for their labels before striking a chat. Basically, your value at this meeting was what you wore. I had to keep up chatting with Laura who had come reluctantly in her old pair of Nike trainers, a cropped denim pant and a common Primark Top. It was obvious that Laura and perhaps I too, within the few minutes we had spent there began to suffer class ostracism.
Buffet over and the guest speaker arrived. A very well known teacher and coach who had just left her job as a top-notch in investment banking to motivate single women in the market place on integrity and purpose. She was introduced amidst a rapturous applause as she took the microphone. She began with her life in the corporate world and how she became lost in a world of ‘things and materials’. She spoke on her obsession to fashion and the pride in her career. She believed these two things were what defined her until Christ restructured her value system. At this point, I leaned towards Laura who wanted to whisper a few words, though I could barely hear her. The guest speaker spotted Laura and this was when everything changed. She was so surprised to see Laura at this meeting. She announced to all the ladies present that Laura was her boss at her last work place. She asked Laura to attest to some of the things she’s said earlier and testified to how God had used Laura to help in discovering her leadership capabilities and so on. She didn’t stop until she had extolled the high net-worth value of Laura in the financial institutions of the city.
All eyes were on Laura after the meeting. Almost all the ladies present struck a conversation and requested her contact details. There was a stark difference in the attitude of some of the ladies before the mention of Laura and after. What Laura was wearing suddenly became inconsequential. Laura was no longer measured by how she appeared but by who she really was.
Without the incidence that repackaged Laura and revealed her real worth, many of the ladies that evening would have missed out, especially the three who got job offers months later with Laura’s work place and a few others who changed jobs on Laura’s recommendations.
Similarly, this is how some single ladies measure the worth of men whom they consider as potential husbands. How many have missed out on the real value of a man simply because of his appearance!
Things, especially material possessions are not necessarily what makes a man but sadly in today’s world, many are defined by what they wear and drive. Individuals have been identified by what is making waves in the celebrity world so much that most potential have been missed because they didn’t look like the men in the glossy magazines.
The craze to conform has left many deluded. The man who is acting out falsely and living a lie is guaranteed of women and single ladies who are also a good match for his life of fraud.
Sadly, most women have placed too much emphasis on things, that they become driven by them. In the quest to maintain this attitude, we have quietly knocked out some other values within us that should have rightly defined us.
Let’s get this right! I am not against these labels or against designer wears; no, not at all. I am simply saying it is wrong when we allow ourselves to be defined by them or when we value others by what they wear. The value of an individual ought to be measured by their personality than their clothes. There are so many destiny helpers, so many who could be links in the chain of our progress and so many worthy personalities who could be missed in life when wrongly valued. We must be careful not to become haughty because we look better than them on the outside.
Our evaluation of another human’s worth should be beyond the value of what they have or have not. It will be a disservice to me if I looked down on a potential helper, supporter or contact simply because by instinct, I think they don’t look like it. Humility is a virtue that will draw me closer to seemingly unlikely persons to discover their real value and worth.
It is still very early in the year. There are some things that will happen in this New Year that will require some new connections or a reconnection with some old contacts. May we endeavour to see with the eyes of faith and trust the HolySpirit for proper evaluation of people and the potential they have.
God is still using people to do amazing works in others’ lives. May we not miss out on those appointed help for us.
SHADE VAUGHAN