They say you never appreciate the value or importance of something you have until it is taken from you either briefly or permanently. I can relate to this on every level possible.
I broke my back yesterday while trying to be super mummy! It happened so fast, one minute I was zooming through the house at super speed (obviously), next thing I bent down to pick baby Diana up and I couldn’t get back up. The pain in my lower back was (and still is extremely painful).
Was this my body’s way of saying “slow down woman and take better care of yourself”?
I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I tried to half crawl-half waddle to the bedroom. I used to think I had an exceptionally high threshold for pain, what I forgot to include in that equation was a body that was not as young as it used to be and therefore needed more rest to bounce back after any long stretch of strenuous or tedious activity.
I couldn’t stand up, move or turn my body without feeling the opposing pull from the muscles in my back. For someone in that amount of pain, my first instinct was to take care of the needs of my children! Different pictures flashed through my mind, one of them was a sepia mode snapshot of me lying on a hospital bed and my first thought was “who would help me watch over my children while I was away?”
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains , where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
The maker of heaven and the earth.
He will not let my foot slip
He who watches over me will not slumber nor sleep.”
“Lord help me,” I cried from the pain in my body and in my heart. The painful emotions of not having someone to lean on at that instant fed the fear building up like a storm in my head.
“Elohim Ozer Li, my helper; I receive help from you.” I closed my eyes and lay still.
Before yesterday, I had succeeded in keeping a low profile in the neighborhood, actively ignoring all the invites to the neighborhood meetings and carefully turning down the requests from the lady who lived next door to babysit my children if I ever needed her help.
Who does that? I mean who genuinely offers to help you with your children for free without wanting something in return. I figured she wanted to gain first hand access into my home so she could get an exclusive on my story so she could dish to the other ladies at their next meeting….
Or she was probably one of those kidnappers who gains the trust of the family and then swoops in with their evil plan when the family least expects them to….
Well, I needed to call someone and it was either the suspiciously helpful Neighbour or Dele’s mum…..
I chose the neighbour! I watched her come in, help me clean up the kitchen, heat up the children’s meals (under my watchful eyes of course, I never said my brain was affected) and tidied up afterwards.
To be honest, I had prepared an entire strategy in my head to evade any personal questions that I expected would come up as we spent the little time together but I was a little disappointed when she was more interested in helping me get better than in my personal life. (The way I go on about hiding my personal life from the public as if I’m one Hollywood superstar like that. Hahaha). Calling for help was a huge step for me and I’m surprisingly pleased that I could put down my shield and trust God to use a person to send me the help I needed at the right time
I’ve taken the pain relievers Ezenwanyi got for me from the pharmacy (that’s my neighbors name, Ezenwanyi, cute isn’t it?) and my back is not as sore as it was yesterday, but there will be no super mummy flying for me for now.
“Lord,I am in awe of you and your love for me. Your way of doing things are different from how I would expect but you are God and I am not.”
Smile Helen, the One who watches your back is very awake and is working for your good.