On the 1st of July, I was trying to delete media files from my phone, then I opened a certain video and heard myself singing. In a split second, I thought to myself that I like the sound of my voice. Please understand, all of my life these few decades or less that I have been on this earth I could not stand the sound of my voice. I did a BBC interview less than five years ago and I never watched it because I did not like the sound of my voice.
Too many times, the people around me have told me that my voice is beautiful, that I should do radio, I should be on television, that my voice soothes but I still didn’t like the sound of my voice. Why? In my own ears it was scrumming, it sounded fat, it was too light, it just wasn’t nice.
What was the definition of a nice voice to me? Maybe one that sounded confident and I think perhaps in my head and my heart, my insecurities could be heard in my voice. Perhaps because it was a part of me, something that came from the inside of me and was exposed, I assumed every other thing in me that I presumed or assumed may be seen as a weakness was shown from that thing that came from inside of me.
Sometimes we get our head too wrapped round our insecurities, our Inefficiencies, our possible weakness and by virtue of that, we assume that the things that come out from us inside are not just nice, not good enough, poor, far from excellence, not extraordinary, dull. It is simply not fair. I’m learning though, to cut myself some slack and sweet sister maybe you should too! Maybe it’s your handwriting, the quality of your work, the way you walk, your hairline, your nose or the shape of your lips and that one thing it affects your posture, your self-perception and the way you approach people or it won’t let you network right, go to a particular place or stand with particular people.
Nobody chooses their voice, nobody chooses their limbs, but you can choose your attitude to what you have. You can look at yourself and see the beauty in it not necessarily because it is the best but because is yours. You deserve some kindness and the truth is it is not as bad as you think it is.
Just because it is visible it doesn’t mean everything about you that does not feel “perfect” is obvious to all. So hold your head up high and embrace all that is naturally yours because you are made in the image of a God who is omnipotent, omniscient, marvelous, beautiful, gracious, powerful, kind, merciful and absolutely mind blowing.
Learn to joyfully embrace those parts of you that you think are not the best. Perhaps you actually have physical disabilities or some deformity, sweet sister, I admonish you to take a good look at the rest of you. So you think you are overweight but you have a beautiful smile and your eyes can light up a room, perhaps you have a bad leg, but your tender heart is to die for, perhaps you have some crooked teeth but you have beautiful long healthy hair. You have to look at yourself as more than that one thing that is not so wonderful and remember whose you are and from what stock you are; from that place of gratitude, lift your voice to exalt his name in your attitude, in behavior, character, in your daily work, in everything you do, in your faith in him, in your goodness to others and in your heart of hearts.
You must live fully, totally accepting of who you are because you have a mandate, not only to love God but to love your neighbour as yourself and the starting point of that is first loving yourself. Remember, if the foundation be destroyed, there is little the righteous can do.