I had someone live with me once. It didn’t matter what she had available to her, she always would take that which wasn’t hers or put at her disposal.
I saw it as stealing, and I complained every time it happened and this happened a lot. After a while, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I had to ask her to leave.
Some people told me it wasn’t her fault; that it was a function of where she was from. They tried to convince me that the environment in which she was raised had impacted on how she saw herself and how she reacted to the things she saw. She had reportedly grown up being told that what everyone had was better than what she had. So in order to feel like she belonged in the group of those who had the ‘right stuff’, she repeatedly stole from them.
While I tried to see their point of view, I also knew it wasn’t a great excuse to become a thief. Unfortunately, she couldn’t change, so I let her go.
Why do people use their environment as excuse for their bad attitude? That exactly is the point of this article.
While I agree that if one lived long enough in a particular environment, the tendency for them to begin to act according to the dictates of that environment is high. It is my contention, however that this ought to be a pre-Christ era in the life of a believer.
The idea is when we come to the saving knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, something should shift for us.
We ought to, at this point be able to see ourselves not as what we used to be but by who we now are in Christ. So in my opinion, the environment can influence us but we have to make the choice on how we will react to those things that our environment sets up for us.
DNA represents the part of us that nothing can wash off.
It is the essence of who we really are, and it is this person that God Almighty wants to put on display in us. Please let’s be clear whose DNA I speak about: I am talking about the God DNA in us- that part of Him that He put in us from the beginning of time. (See Genesis 2:7)
So as homemakers, what should we do when those who pass through us are not exactly who we know they are and can be? What is my responsibility as the homemaker? How do I fulfil my calling to my household? Just how do I help care for someone like the young lady I mentioned earlier?
As I have come to learn, we can give people the tools to make the right decisions. However, in the end, the choice is still theirs to make. They decide if they will step up higher to the greater and better that you have shown them is possible. For me, this is the most frustrating part of building others as I build my home.
Unfortunately, because the decision is theirs to make, I can only suggest and show them the way, and sometimes, show them tough love in the hope that they will get it.
As in the case of that young lady, she refused to get it, so I had to let her go. But I have also seen a few who get it and go on to be the best version of themselves in life.
My point is: yes, I may not be able to choose where I was born and where I grew up, but I can choose what part of that environment or location I will allow to form a part of who I will become.
I remember when we started our family, our neighbourhood wasn’t the easiest to bring up young children whose vocabulary was clean and devoid of swear words. But it was our dream for our children, so we simply started with ourselves- the parents. We consciously agreed that we would not use swear words even in jest.
That decision set the right example for our children. The second thing we did was also consciously to decide which children in the neighbourhood we would allow them interact with.
By the time they were old enough to attend school, we had deliberately brought to their attention that swear words were not healthy and thereby prohibited from our language.
It has been years and even through boarding school we have been able to maintain that pretty much. Yes, there have been the occasional slips, and we have corrected those just by having the conversation around what we agreed we would do as members of our household.
My point in all of this is I agree that our environment can influence us to be a certain way but if we deploy our power of choice properly, we should never fall victims of our location, simply because God’s DNA in us is stronger than any chains our locations can bind us with.
Dear homemaker, keep your hand on the pulse of your home. You have the power to help your people rise above their location.
May God bless and keep your home.