As soon as she said it, I connected with it. Inside of me, my very essence heard it. Teacher Nneka of the WORD Centre discipleship class for children was talking about the fundamental context for us as parents and she said we must understand our role. According to her,
“These children are spirits who are currently here for an earthly adventure”
Adventure
A spirit is sent into this world on a voyage with a destination. That spirit is put in a conveyor container (aka body) and transported through a transit machine (i.e.you, the parent). You are supposed to hold custody and prepare him for the adventure ahead. At the end, he is expected to retreat at the destination. Yes, there is a destination!
On the trail of every adventure, you will find different strokes: surprises, ups, downs, bends, course changes, swift adjustments and so many more out-of-your-control twists. This is what reflects in our children’s lives as we continuously find ourselves handling surprises that pop out as they force through their voyage.
That child who comes home with a letter of rustication, the girl who in place of her school results presents a positive pregnancy report or even the one who has seemingly ticked all the boxes and graduates with a first class; all of them are on their own adventures.
Just like most escapades, the children on their own are not always ready for the new twists round the corners and many times we too are not always ready. YES, many times we are not also ready, but the question is ‘to what extent can we afford as parents not to be prepared when we carry the responsibility of helping the Children know?’. Did I hear you sigh? I just did myself. A big task indeed!
As they say in pidgin, “when jungle mature, who no know go know”, those twists and turns are the maturing jungles and everybody gets their dose. Many miss their way at this point and others ride the waves well.
Even our children will have to tackle challenges. Unfortunately, academic excellence can hardly resolve most of the tough life issues.
So, I see so many voyagers and I wonder, what compass are they riding with? Maybe theirs or the generally accepted ones. I also see some more elderly people who due to so many reasons that may not have been their faults have become ‘voyagers gone wrong’. And then I look back at myself and realise that there is no excuse for me to whom the master template is available. All that pertains to life and godliness is available to me (2 Peter 1:3).
There are indeed myriads of templates for success out there but there is one that is unique for every child.I hear God saying “Beware of any compass that I haven’t given you for this specific adventure! Beware!”
So clearly, God expects us as parents to understand that there is a template per child.
God expects us to seek and find the Template, use it as the compass to stir the child through life and when they are old enough, teach them about God’s Templates. That way, just like a relay match, they will take it and run with it. It will answer many questions as they go through their lives with or without us. They will learn to understand that there is a rhythm for everybody and will be native with what defines their own rhythm.
Unfortunately all these activities must be deliberate,deep and devoid of most of the glamour that we have defined success by. There is an opportunity cost to it. For some, it can be their jobs, for others it could be the several other ‘good’ pursuits that take our time. For all however, the cost of patiently seeking The Lord for direction about each child is imperative.
One way to look at it is that God pre-impresses the pattern for each child and we as parents have to carefully take a tracing paper, put over the pattern and carefully sketch out the picture. NOT our picture but the pre-impressed one. Just as in tracing the pencil shades up, down and wide to reflect the picture, so the child experiences facets of life and new aspects begin to emerge.
Andrew Wommack tells of how he got a message about his son’s death and naturally went into despair as they commenced the journey to the city where the corpse was. He recalled that as they travelled, He started remembering all what God had spoken about the destiny of the child and knowing that the son had not even gone half way, his faith just welled up. He started reminding God about the son’s destiny and He quickly grew confident to rebuke the devil and make decrees. The son rose up after 5 hours.
What has God spoken to you about the destiny of the Children He has put in your care (biological and otherwise)? Find out… that may be the only thing you need when the twists come.
Enife Atobiloye