What’s Really Important?


Hello People, welcome to 2011! It was my first Christmas and New Year celebration as a married woman. I did my best to prove to my dear husband that festive cooking does not in any way faze me.

I made fried rice, jollof rice, coconut rice, efo riro with pounded yam, edikaikong, goat meat pepper soup… not to mention the shredded beef sauce and the cake I baked.

By the time it was 3 pm, I was tired to the bone because I had been in the kitchen since 5.00 am. My entire dinning and kitchen tables were filled with one kind of dish or the other all holding all kinds of meals. I was tired but I was proud of my work. Only an artist stepping back from his canvass to scrutinize his work may be able to understand how I felt! Now, all the while I was in the kitchen my dearest had been moving from couch to couch in the living room flipping from one channel to another. You would think he will have the decency to at least sit in the hot kitchen with me; after all I was cooking for him.

Then at 12.00 noon, as if to add saltto my injury, he comes into the kitchen dressed to go out. The look I gave him made him start to explain to me how he needed to quickly dash to his parents’ house to wish them a merry Christmas, since I wasn’t finished in the kitchen.

He had not even tasted anything I had cooked! I asked for grace and packed some food for his parents, I mean even if I couldn’t go there at least let them know that I cooked at home… but guess what Biodun says, he tells me his parents will have more than enough food at home already and it didn’t make sense to takemore.

Tell me, who gives food in Africa only because the other is hungry? I thought everyone knew this was a way to express our love!!!

Anyway, he took the food, and left. Knowing that we had not eaten and may be having guests of our own, I thought he would return within the hour but guess when he came back 8.00 pm!!! He said he ran into his cousin on his way out of his parents’ and they decided to visit another cousin together. Who does that?

Anyway that, in a nutshell, is the story of my Christmas holiday. I was so mad I almost didn’t want to speak to my husband again. But we made up the next day, after he helped me clear into the waste bin all the food I spent so much time to make the previous day. Not one guest showed up, not one relative showed up.

At the end of the day, I realized that if I had taken time out to make a simple meal, I could have spent more time with my husband on that day; we may have even gone to his parents together,(because I now had to apologise for not showing up) which I could have avoided.

The next night, however, Biodun just held me in his arms and said to me, “Nafan, I love you and you didn’t have to go through all that to show me that you qualify to be my wife.” I melted in his arms because I didn’t even realize he knew what my issues were.

People, I know the year is still fresh and you have a few points of your own to prove, but please remember that while it is okay to be relentless, there is also a little matter of setting the right priorities and knowing when to just go with the flow.

Summer, promises to be full of surprises and I have one of my own… we are having a baby!!!

Till next time, join me in thanking God for his mercy, I never thought I would be able to have children considering…

Love you all.


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Effectual Magazine is a faith based and lifestyle magazine for women and those who love them. Effectual Magazine is a free on line magazine.

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